Walls of gossip

Gossip is something that has affected all of our lives in one way or another. We’ve listened to it, spread it, and been the victim of it. The scary thing, to me, about gossip is what the Word says about it and the fact that we succumb to it so quickly that we hardly ever take it for the serious offense it actually is.

Proverbs 26: 20-22 (NKJV) says Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.

21 As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

22 The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles and they go down into the inmost body

In essence, this scripture reflects the negative and damaging effects of gossip - it kindles strife and contention.

There are 4 areas of gossip I want to explore. We have either listened to gossip, spread it, or been the victim of it:

1. I heard it

2. I told it

3. I used it

4. I felt it

• I HEARD IT

Some of us think it's alright to listen to gossip - after all, we’re not hurting anyone by listening. We can’t possibly be faulted for this because we weren’t the ones who started spreading the information - the person who told me is the one at fault, right? Wrong! The bible says that listening to gossip is just as bad as spreading the words of hurt - Look how nasty listening sounds in Proverbs 17:4

4 An evildoer gives heed to false lips, a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue.

Now that sounds ugly! I’m being equalized to an evildoer and a liar when I listen to gossip!

I heard it - yes, I heard it all when Sister so and so-called to tell me the latest church happenings. How many times have we been on the phone listening to the 411? How many of us are eagerly listening to someone tell us what they know, or what they think they know, or what they’re pretty sure they know, or what they heard? How many times has someone called our house with - chile, we should keep so and so in prayer because this is what’s going on with them - and they proceed with an hour-long conversation about someone else’s business and then they get off the phone with prayer being the last thing on their mind!

We have to be so careful of what we allow ourselves to hear. Gossip is a destroyer - it can tear someone’s whole life apart - it destroys people’s character, it destroys marriages, families, and relationships.

The next time someone calls our house with gossip - we should be strong enough to say: Wait, before you go any further - let’s just pray for Sis. So and so - and then we should proceed to pray like never before for that Sis. - Lord, we thank you for Sis. So and so and we know that she may be going through something Lord, but only you know! Teach us how to love her and show her love and not talk about her, Lord, but lift her up in prayer - teach us how to go to her and encourage her through whatever it is she’s dealing with - cause Lord we never know when it will be our turn - Look, after you finish that fiery prayer say, “Well, I feel better already because I know that the Lord is going to fix whatever it is in Sis. So and so’s life - Well, girl, I gotta go - I’ll talk to you later.”

Now, guess what? They’re not going to call you back with the latest juice anymore!; And the thing about listening to gossip is sometimes you are told information that you know that if the person knew you knew - they would just crawl under a rock! Some of that stuff we don’t have any business listening to - It’s none of our business! We have to be so careful of what we allow ourselves to listen to.

2. I TOLD IT!

Okay, we’re all guilty of telling something that we heard! Sometimes we feel that it’s so juicy that we have to tell it - and then we make sure we say “Don’t tell anybody” or “Well, you ain't heard this from me!”. Shamefully so, it seems that we are so ready to spread bad news or embarrassing news about others. Often our conversations about others are full of judgments and accusations - but really - who are we and what right do we have to behave this way?

In Romans 1:28-32, the Lord lists gossips together with the untrustworthy, unloving, unrighteous, murderers, and haters of God - wow! Who would have thought that the harmless little gossip I spread would have that kind of reaction from the Lord? Well, it does - sharing anything about someone that does not help or edify may be considered gossip. If God can’t get glory out of it - it shouldn’t be spread!

Proverbs 11:13 - “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.”

What are we telling, ladies? Why are we constantly running one another down or sharing everything we hear about someone - and all of us know that by the time the story has been brought to us - it has been changed drastically and then by the time we pass it on -by the time it reaches its final destination the truth has been distorted and stretched so wide! The original story is unrecognizable!

How many times did we “Promise not to say anything” only to repeat it to someone else? What kills me is when you say - Well, I only told such and such - but such and such has loose lips that sink ships and to tell them you might as well had put an ad in the paper!

People’s lives can be ruined by what comes out of our mouths. Our best bet is to keep our mouths shut and pray - and when information is hurtful and harmful to someone we must not accept it and speak against it in love.

Now, there are times when someone tells you something about someone but they are sincere - they are telling you because they are concerned - then together you pray about it - and leave it between the two of you!

3. I USED IT!

Have you ever used something you heard against someone to hurt them or get back at them for something they did to you? You know, you’re right in the middle of an argument or confrontation with them and you say, “Well, I heard that you did so and so…” or you don’t like someone or they’ve attacked you somehow so you use what you’ve heard against them to further dig a ditch for them? But the Bible instructs us in Nehemiah 9:17 that we are to be gracious, kind, merciful, and forgiving. To possess graciousness is to show God’s love through us - Stop spreading that gossip around - and then using it against others! Everybody doesn’t need to hear from you that Bro. And Sis. So and so are having problems in their marriage, or that sister-girl is pregnant again for the 4th time by a 4th daddy - or that you saw Bro. Man at the restaurant and that woman didn’t look like his wife to you! Come on, what in any of that is edifying? How is God getting any glory? Why do we get pleasure out of other people’s troubles? Be QUIET!

4. I FELT IT!

How many times have you been the subject matter of the latest gossip? Who found out about your skeletons or your business and told everybody? Or who did you confide in and that person blabbed to the whole world? How often have you been publicly humiliated for something that did or did not happen? How many times have you been talked about? Lied on - How many of your stories has been distorted and stretched out? Who’s the victim of the vicious gossip now? Is it you? It doesn’t feel good when it happens to you does it? Then why do we do it to others?

I’ll leave you with some scriptures to look at when you go home:

Rom. 1:28-32; Prov. 11:13; 16:28; 18:6-8; 26:20; Psa. 101:5; Prov. 8:13; 17:9; Matt. 12:36, 37; I Tim 5:13

A mark of spiritual maturity is to have control over your tongue (James 1:26). Gossip and slander are tools of Satan. Let’s use our tongues to heal rather than destroy. Let’s sow more love with our tongues. You won’t die if you don’t hear it - you definitely don’t need to repeat it - be gracious and kind enough not to use it - because you never know when you will feel it!.